Politics, Philosophy, Polemics

Archive for the ‘Art’ Category

How to be an amateur art critic

In Art on August 27, 2014 at 9:06 AM

1. Go to the Tate Modern.
2. Pay £14.50 (without donation £13.10) entrance fee for Malevich exhibition.
3. Enter Malevich Exhibition
4. Look for the painting called “Black Square.” It should be easy to find. It is black and it is a square.
5. Spend five minutes looking at said painting.
6. While looking at said painting use words and phrases and say things such as: “powerful”, “uncompromising”, “iconic”, “stark message”, “a religious experience”, “life affirming”, “dominating,” “suprematism”, “magical” and “bold.”

Et voilà! You are now an amateur art critic!

How to be a professional art critic.

Steps 1,3,4,5,6 are the same as above. Step 2 is unnecessary as you will get a press pass.

Add step 7. This is more advanced. It helps if you can cite Kant and say something such as the following when looking at the painting:

The experience of viewing the painting…involves a feeling of pain brought about by the breakdown of representation followed by a powerful sense of relief, even elation, at the thought that the formless or massive can nevertheless be grasped as a mode of reason. In other words, the failure of the black square to represent this transcendent realm serves ‘negatively’ to exhibit the ‘higher’ faculty of reason, a faculty that exists independent of nature.

Advertisements